There's a Bridal Expo coming up nearby. It's called Best Wedding Showcase, and the W in Showcase is replaced by a butterfly. The website promises a "wedding wonderland of ideas" including a fashion show and elaborate vendor displays. There are door prizes. THE THEME IS TROPICAL LOVE. I CAN'T NOT GO TO THERE.
If the event were free, there would be no question. But it's $5. Are wedding cake samples really worth five dollars of my most precious scrilla?*
On the other hand, TROPICAL LOVE. I looked at the Tips page, and their advice is to bring 1) a clipboard, and 2) your people. In that order. Your people may include your "mother, bridesmaids, fiance, father (since he might be paying!) and of course your wedding planner or assistant." Of course. Naturally I would never dream of attending a bridal show without my assistant to carry my clipboard and my train, and my father will certainly want to see what he's shelling out for.
Maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe it will be a bunch of affordable, down-to-earth vendors who want couples to have super fun, lovely, meaningful weddings. Maybe many fathers care deeply about their daughters' nuptials and would like to attend the Best Wedding Showcase. Maybe my father would like to attend. Maybe I just texted him about it.
Besides, if it were a cheese show on this scale, I'd be there in ... well, I'd be camping out right now to make sure I got to the cheese first. We all have our thing.
So I guess my choices are:
- Boycott the Best Wedding Showcase, partly because I'm frightened I'll get swept up in all the grandeur and excitement and butterflies and walk out with a $50,000 pre-planned wedding and a coconut bra;
- Go with a friend, gobble up the free samples and then write about (read: make fun of) the whole thing afterward; or
- Dress up like an old movie star, then walk around the place sniffing and drawling out insults while I take long drags from my cigarette holder.
For cake.
*Probably.
Image by Russell Patterson.
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