The Thank You Post

The wedding was the best day of my life so far, but I spent most of it a little shell-shocked and crouching under a light layer of panic, abandoning projects and plans that we'd spent so many hours planning. I teared up every five minutes the entire week leading up to the wedding, but I only really started to cry once on the wedding day, during my vows. I'm afraid to see the pictures because I'm sure I'll look as dazed as I felt, not the gleeful ball of joy I was toward the end of the night. "What is happening?" my wide eyes will say. "How is the wedding already here? I just needed one more day to prepare. Just one more day. To relax with my friends. And finish the damn playlist."

It's taken me almost three weeks to process the wedding and the week that led up to it. Little things went wrong, little cracks left me feeling guilty or anxious. But mostly I feel so grateful, and the guilt stems mainly from the fact that I can never repay everyone for all they did to help and support us. All I can do is thank them.

So here is a numbered list of most of the people we need to thank. You'll also be getting cards. They will hopefully be more eloquent than this.

1. Both of our families, for supporting us, for taking time off work and school and traveling from opposite ends of the country to see us get married, for running errands for us and driving all around the county, for throwing me a shower and making our rehearsal dinner incredible, for the kind words and the dances and for letting us plan the weird wedding we wanted and I guess most importantly, for loving us and raising us to be the people we are and for sending us off to a little college in Ohio where we first met each other. We love you so much.
2. Our wedding party and Ava, my tiny niece and flower girl. Everyone came out early, taking planes, trains, and automobiles. The ladies spent months shopping for dresses and shoes based on the vague guidelines I gave them. The boys gave Bill a bachelor party, some of the girls came out for karaoke with me, and a few of the groomsmen snuck into the parking garage to decorate our car with "Just Married" paraphernalia which is now hanging on the door of the laundry room where I see it and smile five times a day...once every three months when I actually do laundry. Everyone supported us, stood by our sides (in a very long line), kept us laughing, and made our wedding the most incredible day. Special thanks to...
1. Rebecca, Danielle, and Vy-Vy, three of my bridesmaids. Vy-Vy arrived Tuesday before the wedding and instead of the relaxing week of pampering I deludedly promised her, she spent the next week ironing tablecloths and helping with wedding chores. She also took a red-eye to D.C., was delayed for several hours, then was finally bused to Harrisburg. She's amazing. She did my makeup for the wedding and helped keep me calm. Danielle and Rebecca both got in on Wednesday for more wedding errands and tedious tasks. They stayed with me, making jokes and helping out even as I became more and more short and irritable from anxiety. They never complained or hinted that maybe I shouldn't have tried to do everything for the wedding myself. Then at the wedding they got up and made an embarrassing and hilarious speech about my bathroom habits. Rebecca was ready between every other song with a glass of water, making sure I stayed hydrated without ever leaving the dance floor. These three are my best friends, and I can't imagine getting married without them there.
2. Anthony Freda. This man deserves his own post. When I made the playlist it was for a much longer reception than we ended up having. I didn't have a chance to pare it down once we found out how much shorter the dancing portion would be. Bill told me not to worry, but I knew what was coming, how terrible the dance party would be with an hour of Motown before a single pop song made an appearance - and not even the Motown that people like. I mean, there was no Jackson 5 on our playlist, you guys. Just as I was starting to panic, Freda (a professional drummer whose amazing band plays weddings...) hopped on up to the computer without being asked and DJ'd for us the rest of the night. And it was incredible. The dance floor was packed the entire night, both our grandmothers got in on the dancing, there was karaoke and elaborate lip syncing and Bill and I crowd surfed. So, yeah, best wedding ever. It's all due to Freda, and I can never thank him enough. The music was one of the things I cared about most, and I was all set to shrug it off and push down my shame when he swooped in and saved the night. Seriously, man. We owe you so much more than breakfast. We owe you diamonds! And rubies! And a moat of gold coins for you to swim about in! Which Bill may actually be able to hook you up with.
3. Travis Markel MADE THE GIANT JENGA SET that served as our guest book. Pictures to follow. PREPARE TO BE AMAZED.
4. Jennifer, my sister, stayed up till 5 am after flying in from California to bake and decorate a delicious and beautiful cake for my linens-n-lingerie shower. It had a frosting negligee and the words "Scandalous!" and "Show us your knees!" piped on top. She's studying baking, and dang girl, it's paying off. 
5. Laura and Elizabeth, two other sisters, who helped with my hair when that one wispy bump would not stay put.
6. Jamie and Anuar, my new sister-in-law and her awesome boyfriend, who went and fetched us Taco Bell after the wedding and then brought it up to our room for a midnight snack. Them's good people.
7. Everyone else I forgot. You are all the best.
3. Everyone who gave speeches. They were hilarious and touching and perfect and they made us cry in our hearts and sometimes in our eyes. 
4. Aaron, Rita, Trisha, and Sean. These nerds are my best friends from college, and they all rearranged their schedules and missed work so they could come out for the wedding and stay a couple extra days. They came out with us Thursday, dressed me in a ribbon-and-tissue-paper veil, and sang karaoke. I didn't spend nearly as much time with you as I wanted to, but you being there made the wedding.
5. CNG, Bill's work, generously provided the cocktail hour cheese and appetizers. And tore it up on the dance floor. Aw, yeah.
6. Our vendors, who don't read this blog but I'll mention them anyway: 
1. Bill Speakman and everyone at Tellus360. Nowhere in the world will you find nicer or cooler people all working together in the same awesome place. The people at Tellus went beyond anything we could have asked, always willing to do whatever they could to make the event exactly what we wanted. In the end, the wedding was better than we could have anticipated or planned, thanks to them.
2. Grace Dickinson and Jewels, the photographers. These ladies are so stylish and cool I almost can't handle it. Always prompt and professional, friendly but unobtrusive while they worked, and incredibly talented, we couldn't have asked for better people to capture the fun and spirit of the day. Grace sent us a little preview of the pictures, and I cannot wait to see more. 
3. Josh and Co. at Taco Camino. Could there be a cooler bunch of people slingin' wedding tacos? The answer is no. All throughout the planning, these guys were laid back and put us so at ease. And man, did they deliver some bangin' tacos.
7. All of the guests, all our friends and families and coworkers. Without you there, we would have just been eating tacos and dancing around by ourselves. Which to be fair is just like a normal Thursday night for us. 
8. Also thank you to everyone who hugged me. I was so, so sweaty. Like, crazy sweaty. It takes a true friend to hug you when you're that drenched in sweat.

I'll write more about the actual wedding soon, with funnier stuff and less sentimentality. Thank you for indulging me, and thank you if you're one of the people I mentioned, and thank you even if you're not, for reading this. You're all the best.

Thotes.

WE JUST GOT MARRIED

I'm assuming we did, at least. Because I'm writing this in advance. But barring any tragedy or emergency, we are married right now (!!) and getting ready to eat tacos and dance our little tootsies off.

It is probably very nice.

Why I'm Getting Married

I'm getting married tomorrow.

I never wanted to get married - did I ever tell you that? I suspected that I might, eventually, but I never planned on it. I thought I'd age eccentrically into old Auntie Carrie, who emerges from solitude at every full moon bringing presents of pounds and pounds of peanut brittle and wearing a hat made out of a squirrel with wind chimes hanging off it.

But now I have old Uncle Sillybeard, who will sit on the porch and make fun of the neighbors with me and eat all my peanut brittle. I'm the luckiest girl in the world! I'll make him a hat made out of a flower pot, and in February we'll put a little stuffed groundhog in it.

So I guess getting married won't be as strange or frightening as I've always assumed. It seems a little like being alone, but with someone. Which, for an introvert, is about as nice as it gets.

For Anyone Looking For a Last-Minute Wedding Gift....

We will happily accept copious, more-or-less-sincere compliments. Right now, a You look so thin! or a What shiny hair you have! or even a blatantly impossible Have your legs gotten longer? would be more appreciated than a dozen gold-plated stand mixers.


Image via

The Deal with the Aisle

Someone's gonna have to carry a bitch up that aisle.

Bill and I went to a tiny college where every student was required to turn in a senior thesis. I wrote a book; Bill did...something with coins. No one knows exactly what. The point is, every year on the day theses are due there's a big party and all the underclassmen line up and cheer as the seniors parade across campus.

I learned a lot in college, but the main thing I remember is that PARADES ARE THE BEST THING.

I don't know if you've ever been in a parade before.* Specifically, a parade with all your friends on either side clapping and cheering, and you feel proud and happy and overwhelmed by the support and good wishes of the community around you, and your friends lift you in the air with the enthusiasm of their hugs and you're about to leave this part of your life so you feel a little undercurrent of sadness, but that's swept away by intense joy as you realize you will never forget this most incredible moment and probably you should try to start a parade everywhere you go and also you're a little hungry.

It's a lovely idea to transition from one phase of life to the next through an aisle of your loved ones, but I don't think it should be too serious or solemn, even at a wedding. Many people like their ceremonies with a little gravitas, which is fine. I won't judge ya. But sometimes with solemnity comes the terrible urge to laugh, especially if the crowd is so quiet you can hear the photographer snapping away or the ring bearer whispering that he has to tinkle. And then there's that person who blows his nose loudly and startles everyone.

You probably see where this is going. We're going to encourage everyone to stand up and groove a little, Soul Train-style. We're going to play good music and maybe provide some ribbons and tiny flags for people to wave if they want. The groom will parade up the aisle.** The wedding party will parade up the aisle. The bride will parade up the aisle. And when everyone's up at front, the guests can sit back down to whoop and holler and heckle and cry and laugh while we git murried. Or they can just sit there stonily and check their phones, if they hate fun.

If a wedding sets the tone for a marriage, there shouldn't be anything serious about ours. Just family, friends, good food, good music, and laughter.

And surprises. I'm a big fan of surprises. And spontaneity.

I mean, I'm just sayin'. If the opportunity to crowd-surf comes up at my wedding, I'mma take it.


*I don't know your life. Maybe you're in parades every day and this is old news to a professional parader like you, but it's still a big deal to us. Actually I am one up on Bill, because I was briefly in the Return of the Swallows parade in San Juan Capistrano when I was eight. A boy lasso'd me out of the crowd and did rope tricks AROUND ME. I was INSIDE THE LARIAT. Best day of my life.
**And he will try not to lead everyone in the wrong direction, like he did his senior year.


Image via Hello May.