I'm setting low standards for this year. If I find myself married and living somewhere other than a gutter next December 31, I'll consider it a pretty good year.
I usually don't make resolutions because I know that February will find me just as slovenly and undisciplined as ever. But I've got a storm of opinions coming my way over the next year, and I need to develop a thicker skin if I hope to plan a wedding and avoid a nervous breakdown. Someone is going to think my dress is weird or the invitations are tacky or the food is fine, I guess, but not what they would choose. It's just going to happen, and I would like very much not to agonize over it.
So as my resolution, I am declaring an embargo on caring about other people's dumb opinions.* Because that's some nonsense, and you know my feelings about nonsense. What I do want this year is to do some cool stuff, marry Bill with all our favorite people there, then do more cool stuff. Someone who hates fun will probably show up and try to put a downer on the party, but there will be way more people shouting, "Look how happy they are!" and "Damn, these are some bangin' tacos!" and "I LITERALLY CANNOT STOP SHAKIN' IT."
Alternatively, we could just hire a bouncer to keep out all the haters. Problem solved, and I don't have to grow or evolve as a person - and that's what this holiday is all about.
*Flattering opinions will be taken under review.
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