Auntie Carrie Answers: Bingo!

Auntie Carrie is always here to listen. Don't trust any advice Mittens gives you, though. She's on meth.

Auntie Carrie is always looking for ways to make life a little more zesty. I keep a folder labeled "SHENANIGANS" in the bottom drawer of my filing cabinet, and there I keep all my fun holiday recipes and magazine clippings from Cosmo about keeping things fresh 'n' funky in the boudoir.

The other day I read an article on The Buzzfeed about bridal showers and how tired and cliche they can be. "O-ho!" I thought. While I don't believe there's anything quite like an afternoon of sipping tea and watching a blushing young bride-to-be unwrap the tools with which she will keep her future house, I guess I understand where the young people are coming from. Bridal showers could stand to receive a fun 'n' fresh makeover. "And I know just the thing to liven up a tired old shower," I said to Mittens. 

Bingo!

Mittens hissed at me and lunged claws-first toward my neck, but I quickly dodged her and set to work making a mock-up. I filled the squares in with phrases like "Happy Couple," "The Big Day," and "So when are you having kids?" Guests mark a space if someone tears up or makes a wedding night innuendo, if they spot a jealous bridesmaid or hear a joke about shotgun weddings. Free Space is the toilet paper wedding dress game. 

Once I finished, I logged on to my AOL and typed in a search to see what kind of demand there was for this sort of game. To my dismay, I found that Bridal Shower Bingo already exists:

$7.95 for 60 CARDS on Etsy. Don't miss out!

But it's only about gifts! Now, why would anyone want a game of bingo confined solely to the gift-opening portion of a shower when they could have a game that lasts for the entire party? It doesn't make any sense!

"Mittens," I said, "this game is shallow and pedantic. Where's the zest, Mittens? Where's the zest? I'd like to see what The Buzzfeed has to say about it." 

So I wrote to the editor of The Buzzfeed to see if they would feature it in their next edition, perhaps setting the two versions side by side for a biting compare-and-contrast segment, but I've yet to receive a response, which either means the editor is supremely rude or the mailman is using our letters to wallpaper his shed again. 

In any case, if you would like a copy of my Fresh 'N' Funky Bridal Shower Bingo, please send me an electronic mail c/o: 

auntiecarrieanswers@gmail.com

Lancaster, PA 17603

Until next time!

Your faithful servant, 

Auntie Carrie

Image via The Telegraph.