We Be On Fleek

That's not Fleek. That's Rihanna.

I got one of those wedding spam emails today. I usually delete them, but this subject line was "35 Signs Your Wedding is On Fleek." And I had to pause. And open it. And find out what "on fleek" means. Is it good or bad? Most importantly, will our wedding be on fleek, and should I be worried about that?

[You should know that I'm a prime target for advertising. Once, a waiter was describing a fancy salad that was topped with a hen's egg. When he left, I turned to Bill and said, "Ooh, a hen's egg!" Then Bill had to remind me that that's just a normal egg.]

Instead of googling the phrase, I decided to figure it out from context clues, SAT-style, yo. Here are just a few of the ways a wedding can be on fleek:

1. Your groomsmen tied their ties correctly without the help of a YouTube video. Really throwin' some shade there, wedding article. 
2. Ceremony chairs were arranged in a circle. Like sharing time in kindergarten. Super-on fleek. 
3. You provided trendy transportation - like a school bus! I rode the bus in high school. No one thought it was trendy. 
4. There were giant-sized lawn games. 
5. Including a bounce house. Apparently on fleek means "just like childhood."
6. Shots, shots, shots. Well, maybe not exactly like childhood. 
7. Guests traded in their heels for flip flops. "Come on, Grandpa. Time to change out of your sensible pumps."
8. Tears were shed. Got it. On fleek = pain and sadness. Our wedding will be on fleek for sure. 
9. In lieu of favors, a donation was made to a charity. Whaaaat? Such social responsibility after all those shots. So unexpected. 
10. At the end of the night, there were fireworks. BOOM. That is the sound fireworks make. Very good. Did an actual eight-year-old write this?

Our wedding exhibits 8 of the 35 signs so far. 

I still have no idea what that means. Except that I'm old now and not at all cool. 

Image via Betches Love This.