Wedding Planning Vows

We have officially started planning our wedding! Which really means we made a list of all the things we know we want: trampolines, Korean Johnny Cash, a chorus of frogs performing our first dance song, a high-wire as the aisle with crocodiles chomping underneath. Also a bed of hot coals to walk across - it's always nice to have something for kids to do at a wedding.

This wedding has EVERYTHING.

But even though we agreed on the big, important things like roasting a mermaid for the fish course, things got a little dicey over centerpiece talk. Not because he or I particularly care about the centerpieces, but because we have different taste in flowers, and for some reason that upset me.

...I know. Centerpieces.

Really I was bummed because I want Bill to help plan, but no little girl dreams about coming to a rational compromise on wedding details. It took a minute to realize that our ideas combined would make a way better wedding than just one person's. If we only used Bill's ideas the wedding would have a feast of foods from around the world and no chairs and weird, prickly flowers all over. Which is an okay start, but then I'll add a gospel choir and Soul Train-type aisle and peonies and...you know, chairs...and the result will be so much better.

So to make the year(s) of planning as enjoyable as possible, here are my Wedding Planning Vows:

1. I will devote more energy to our marriage than to our wedding, but I'll devote the most energy to singing songs from Winnie the Pooh while you're trying to fall asleep;
2. I will try not to be too sensitive when you don't like the same things I like, and instead chalk it up to bad different taste;
3. I will endeavor to remember that it just doesn't matter when escort cards seem like the be-all and end-all of our wedding;
4. I will keep my priorities in order: ceremony first, then life-size cheese carving of our heads;
5. I will keep the craft projects down to a minimum, for everyone's sake;
6. I will definitely try to trick you into agreeing to ridiculous ideas;
7. I will not ask you open-ended questions like "What do you like?" and instead will show you pictures of things for you to approve or veto;
8. I will not expect you to know the proper etiquette for addressing invitations off the top of your head; 
9. I will make you write out your own Wedding Planning Vows; and
10. I will keep in mind that opinions are like assholes: not to be touched.
    
    ...Or something.

Image via The Daily Beast.